My Last Chance

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My Last Chance

By Katie Rouse

I awoke to a harsh alarm and forced myself to open my eyes. I was so comfortable, lying in my bed with the covers pulled up to my ears to stop my shivering. Funny, it felt so cold, which was unusual because my room was always warm in the mornings due to heat given off from the thermosystems. I guess it didn’t really matter though. It wouldn’t be a problem much longer.

I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that only grew and grew. Today was my day. May 11^th, 2191. My 17^th birthday. I was no longer a child. My eyes started to water; I guess what humans called “crying.” I shuddered at the idea and what my friends would think if I told them I had just experienced something as weak and primitive as a human emotion. Those were a thing of the past, of our ancestors.

Turning to the window to clear my head, I looked into space. The earthrise was beautiful today, the ethereal blues and greens bleeding into the emptiness of space. Ironic. Once it had risen it cast a shadow over our space station. I imagined all the little humans wandering around, living their lives down there. I wondered what it would be like to be there with them. A single tear leaked from my eye. I sighed. Thinking like this was pointless. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen and there was nothing I could do about it.

    My older brother Khan was at work with the rest of the zero-gravity mechanics. It was heartbreaking that we wouldn’t be able to say goodbye, but it was probably for the best. Seeing him would only remind me what I’m never going to have again. I think he is the one I will most the most. I wondered if you even feel anything at all after you’re faded.

    I willed myself to stay in bed under the warm covers that had always made me feel so safe as long as I possibly could, but my programming finally won out. I swung my feet out from the blankets and onto the frigid cement floor. I shivered, cold engulfing my body like an ocean, goosebumps crawling up and down my skin. It took a second for my brain to understand why my slippers or carpet weren’t there. Oh, right. They take all of your possessions the morning it happens. My room was so empty, a far cry from the elaborate, elegant “bed chamber” it had once been. Looking around, it felt like someone had reached into my chest and dropped a hundred pound weight on it.

    “I just want this to be over,” I whispered to myself, more tears coming now as I said the words out loud. I furiously wiped them away, strangely feeling embarrassed. “Come on, Ace, get a hold of yourself.” I tried to be firm with myself but the sobs that now shook my body only made it impossible. “I want my mom,” I cried into my pillow, but I knew that wasn’t happening. I wouldn’t see any of my family ever again. I tried to let that sink in, but I just couldn’t wrap my skull around it.  

I would never laugh over pillow fights with my brother, or giggle at my mom’s horrible cooking, or smile when my brother brought me flowers for Valentine’s Day. I couldn’t help grinning at that last one. Before my brother had woken me up with the all-too-rare chocolates and a single fake rose when I was nine I had never even heard of the holiday.  After Kahn had explained the origins of it that he had learned from ancient history class I told him it was ridiculous. He mocked offense and tackled me onto the floor. But I would never get to joke with him again.

    Sometimes I wonder if I regret my choice. The answers change with time, like all things, I suppose. I would never regret saving Khan’s life by stealing medicine for him; I would have done anything for him. Unfortunately, the Guard didn’t really get where I was coming from, so they sentenced me to be Faded. “Stealing is a capital offense,” they would tell me, along with everyone else every single stinking day of our lives. I wonder if anyone ever noticed why they never told us why. I would see the President and his family feasting at dinnertime while the rest of us were barely given enough rations to survive. I rolled my eyes, in awe of how stupid people could be.

I often speculated about if the Fading would hurt. Most people said it wouldn’t, but I wasn’t so sure. Most of them would believe anything the President told them.

I would miss my friends of course, but they wouldn’t miss me. Due to the President’s instruction, everyone is forced to forget the Faded. Strange to think I would soon be joining their ranks.

    I shook these thoughts from my head, throwing them into the wind. I giggled to myself a little just then. What an odd concept wind was. We had never experienced it up here, but I had read about it in a book once.

The guards would be coming any minute to escort me to the chamber where it would happen. It was time to get dressed. I pulled the drab, odorless shirt over my head reluctantly, knowing that it meant my fate was finalized. I shuddered, thinking about all those others who went to join the Faded right in this very outfit. Once the clothes were worn by the Faded, no one else would touch them, let alone buy them, which didn’t work out very well seeing as how clothing was already an extremely limited resource on our station. So the President came up with these cheap uniforms, to be reused by all of the Faded so that as little clothing as possible was deemed “untouchable.”

    Just then the bolted steel door swung open and four guards burst through it, armed from head to toe with everything from sleek black pistols to sparking electroshock sticks. Their black masks were pulled down over their faces and their opaque dark goggles were covering their eyes. That was what scared me the most about them. I had had a few run-ins with the Guard with my more reckless friends before the “incident,” but Khan had always come to the rescue. Yet, while he had always saved me, in each interaction I still saw firsthand their brutality. Now I really hated that I couldn’t see their eyes. There was some saying from Earth that we learned about in school, “The eyes are doors to the spirit,” or something like that. Maybe that was the one thing our ancestors got right.

    “Acacia Greene, you are hereby claimed for the Fading,” One of the guards in the front stated in a deep, monotone voice.

    “It’s just Ace, actually.” I muttered bitterly. None of them said anything. They just stepped forward and surrounded me. One of them pushed me from behind and I stumbled forward, catching myself at the last minute.

    “Move!” One of them shouted at me.

    “Ok, Ok, I’m going!” I grumbled. I took the steps that led me out of my room, down the hall. Past the classroom. Past the cafeteria. Past my childhood. As I walked this route that I had taken so many times, I realized that my life was about to end. That didn’t feel right at all. No, it couldn’t be. I was only seventeen. I had so much that I still wanted to do. I wasn’t going down like this. I wasn’t going to sit meekly while they led me to be erased. Something inside me was willing me to  fight; I had to get away. So when we rounded the next corner near the docking bay, I saw my chance and I took it.

    As one of the guards was saying something into his radio  about having the prisoner, I kicked his shin as hard as I could and saw him crumple to the ground. Before the others even knew what was happening, I shoved one into the wall and  grabbed his electroshock stick, then quickly zapped the last two guards. I bolted around the corner to the docking bay as fast as I could. My feet were barely touching the ground. It felt amazing. No one was yelling at me, no one was watching and critiquing my every move. For once in my life, I was finally free.

    Seeing the Defiance, its sleek silver paint glinting in the fluorescent lighting and its name declared on its side in peeling magenta ink, I felt like I could really do it. The smallest of the space shuttle’s fleet, it was sized perfectly to make my escape. And stories from my brother Khan’s work as a zero-gravity mechanic over the years had taught me a few things about piloting.

    By now the guards had gotten their bearings back and were headed straight for me. It was now or never. This was my last chance. I swiped my hand over the holopad, commencing the opening of the ship.

    “Come on, come on, just a little farther.” I pleaded with the ship, its hatch inches away from being big enough for me to slip into. I was bouncing on the balls of my feet from anticipation. The guards were getting closer.

    “Yes!” I shouted, pumping my fist in the air when the hatch finally opened. I hopped into the cockpit. Once the oxygen filters began to pump, I closed the hatch and quickly locked it. Their only option to stop me now was to blow me out of the sky. Although, that might not be much of an issue for them. I still needed to hurry.

    So close. I ran through a check with the ship’s navicomputer.

    “Computer, systems check!” I called out.

    She ran through all the operations while I held my breath. If even one of them was defective, my dreams of launching would be crushed.

After what seemed like ages, the computer finally spat out in her mechanical voice, “All systems operational.”

    Deep breath. This is it. I’m going to leave the only life I’ve ever known for an uncertain future. I hope Khan will understand why I had to leave. I hope he’ll be alright without me. Maybe I would be able to talk to him again one day. Maybe not.

Would it be worth it? Never seeing my family again, having to start my life over, having to fend for myself? Only time would tell.

    “Computer, begin launch. Take me to Earth.”